Man, I hate this part of foster-adopt. So, every time we get Lil back, the birth parents decide to clean up their lives! Whatever!!!!! Also, Lil''s maternal gma has told the BM that I'm a really nice person, a great mother to Lil & that Lil's doing great! She wants her daughter to get clean SO badly that she will always resort back to her daughter.
The SW assures me that everything will turn out fine. History has shown that the birth parents will become involved in services for a short period of time and then stop.
It's interesting to me that since Lil was placed w/the grandma, the birth parents were not involved at all! They show up when they are REALLY threatened of losing their daughter.
So, here's how it will go. Termination papers are completed and have been turned in to the right authority. In about 3-4 months we will have a termination hearing/placement hearing. Right now the SW has to offer every opportunity for the birth parents to start services. She is going to make this hard for birth parents. How many opportunities have they had to get INVOLVED! Lil is 8 mo old now! She will be one year old when we go to term. Either the judge will order Lil to be returned to the birth parents (which is highly unlikely) or their rights will be termed and then we can breathe easier and move forward to the adoption.
I can handle a bumpy ride for the next few months. I would DO anything and go through anything in order to adopt Lil. This just has to work this time!
Visits are starting up next week for the birth parents. Once a week Lil will have to endure 4 hours of visits. Two with gma and sister, and two hours w/the birth parents. Since I'm involved in the visits w/gma and sister SCAN will have to make sure that I get out of there w/out running into the birth parents. It's NOT a good idea for us to meet at this time. Poor Lil is going to be so TIRED during the 2nd half.
They get another visit during week as well.
Right now I just really need your prayers for our family. Adoption is our only option (right now) to have children and Lil is our daughter. From the minute I saw her at the hospital until now, she's been in my heart as my daughter.
If the parent's rights are termed they will push for an open adoption. I flat out told the SW today that I'm fine w/letters and pics twice a year, but no visits unless it's proven that they are not on drugs. It's too dangerous for our family to be put in that position. She completely understood. She is also going to look into a clause to put into the adoption agreement that it CANNOT be overturned at any time.
So, please, I know we have a few months to go, but we could use any prayers on our behalf to keep Lil.
Dominic
6 yrs old
Lily
4 yrs old
Sara
19 months old
Friday, February 27, 2009
Here we go!
at 12:13 AM
Labels: Foster-Adopt, Lil
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6 comments:
You are definitely in my prayers Renee... Hope this all works out and you guys can relax and breathe and have this little girl enjoy a life in your family.
Wow, I got chills/nervous reading this. You are in our prayers, we wish you the very best of luck and blessings! Love, Kalia
I will most definitely keep you in my prayers!! You have been through the wringer - - just hang in there! I think about you all the time, Renee' - - I have to tell you that knowing all that you have had to go through has helped me get through some of our life challenges. I never take for granted that I am pregnant- - even when I feel so sick and my husband is hardly ever home that I start to wonder "what was I thinking!" Those kinds of thoughts get pushed right out of my head when I think of what you and others have had to go through. So- thank you for sharing and being such a strength to me. You are such a good mother and a strong person! The Lord WILL bless you!
I'm so sorry that Lil's parents are being hard on you. If they really cared about her they would have cleaned up a long time ago instead of letting her get passed along so many times and places. I hope for the best and good luck with everything. Hang in there. Love you :)
ok...i know this is going to be a tough few months for you but i know so deep down and strongly that you will be getting lil. there is no judge in his right mind who will take her away. i am positive that what the case worker told you about the birthparents starting services and then dropping the ball is totally true, see how they have been acting for the past 8 months. if they were doing everything they were suppose to be doing Lil would already be home with them...case in point...look at Rose's situation. she is only 4 months old and she is almost going home...so Lil's parents have to do TONS and TONS of stuff to even be concidered to get her back...it is not going to happen, they won't do it. Their track record so far is glarring in their face. The waiting is going to be hard, I know, remember going through it with Bug but I just know she is not leaving your family. Lil has already been moved 5 times (three times into your home) and she is only 8 months old. The judge would have to be insaine to move her again and by the time the Term Court date comes she will have been with you 4-5 months...and she will be a year old, she knows you.
About the visitations happening...that is crazy they want to do 4 hours straight for Lil. I would give it a few weeks and then I bet the birth parents drop off because Lil will be cranky, and if they don't drop off then I would talk to the SW. My first thought is to have the Birthparents deal with Lil being cranky, but that is not fair to Lil, or you having to deal with her when she arrives home.
I totally would not want to see the Birthparents at this time, but maybe it could help them to let go.
I hated having to see Bug's birthmother and then his birthfather/grandmother. But when we finally agreed to meet with them and talk, they finally let go. Even though these birthparents make huge mistakes by doing drugs and such they do have some small gleam of humanity in them and want what is best for their birthchildren. They just need to be reminded of that and are when they meet the Foster/adopt familes. Well in our case it happened this way.
Sorry...so long...off my soap box now.
Sorry, I have been off the scene lately. I still care and I will definitely keep praying for you. I know Lily is part of your family as well. I was so confused when she was taken away from you guys, but we never know how everything is going to work itself out!
I've been so busy I can hardly make sure Lucy and I both get 3 meals a day, thus the blogging void. (I am not complaining, I am a way happier person when I am busy). I usually plan on blogging at night, but then I fall asleep while putting Lucy to bed. I couldn't believe the other day when I actually sat down to blog it had almost been a full month! Anyway, I guess I am just saying sorry for being out of touch lately.
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