I'm not sure what to say right now. I feel a loss that I can't explain. I only know two people that have gone through this. It's different than losing a child to death. I have bawled for the past 3 days and the tears just keep on coming. There's nothing anyone can do but pray for us. Today I have come to the realization that I need to let go of my Lily. If I am hoping for her return and it doesn't happen then I'll be more devistated. If I let go and she does return then it would be wonderful. If I never see her again, but she's living a good life w/her B-Mom then I guess that's the best thing for her. We are going to continue to finish up the baby's room and prepare for the next arrival, whether or not that be Lily. This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to go through. I bonded w/her so much in the five days she was here. She will always have our love and be in our hearts forever!
It's hard to be happy and pretend that she was never here. I will always have Dom though. I just am Soooooooooooo ready for another baby, more than I thought. I am going to wash everything of Lily's and just start new!
There has to be a happy ending here! I believe in Fairytales and miracles. Dom was a miracle!
Please keep praying for me to heal. I want the tears to stop!
It think that painting the baby's room will help me heal.
Thank you all for your love and support and if you get any inspiration please let me know. It would help.
Dominic
6 yrs old
Lily
4 yrs old
Sara
19 months old
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Grieving
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I am sure there is nothing in the world that can stop the pain of losing something this way. Her going back to her BM is hard for you to understand I know. Maybe try putting yourself in the BM shoes? Imagine if you were her BM and she was taken away. You would do everything in your power to keep her as well I am sure. Remember that no matter what there is a reason for this all to happen. And there is a reason for the pain and tears to happen. As much as it is hard now it can only make you stronger if you let it. So embrace the fact that you were able to spend time with a beautiful little baby girl for that the time that you did. No matter what things are going to work out for you with another baby. Even if it was not the Lily you thought it would be. There is another baby out there that is waiting to see her mom and dad soon. She will be thankful for all the love that you have in your heart for a baby. Remember that everyone is here for you and it is okay to cry. It is okay to feel pain and it is also okay to let go. Make sure Dom knows that you love him as well and also your husband. Love you lady and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers always!
Nicole
Oh- Renee- I am so sorry for you and will keep you in our prayers. I can only imagine how hard this is for you- it tears our my heart to read it! I read your sunshiney day post- and I think you are such a strong person! Already you are stronger for it. I will pray that things will work out they way it needs to for your family. It is great that you are realizing how much cherishing Dom is- I have a really hard time being nice to my kids when I am stressed- so hang in there, and don't be hard on yourself!
Post a Comment