I was listening to the the Shrek soundtrack w/my sister last Friday. This song came on and I started to cry. But now I like this song because the clouds have cleared and the sun is out, figureatively speaking. I am doing much better! I have learned to let Lily go but still hoping that she will come back to us. But, if not then I am okay w/that. I know that we will get another little baby girl either way.
This is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through, but it's only made me stronger.
My friend Brenda made me realize that Dom is begging for my affection and acceptance of this new change in him. I do love him sooooooo much! He's my son through and through.
Lately I've been having a terrible time getting him to go to sleep. I have been at wits end lately. Last night I spent one on one time w/him before bed and he only got out of bed 3 times before going to sleep. He may be phasing his naps out, which I'm not ready for yet. I can tell the difference in his behavior from when I yell and stay calm. This morning is pretty good so far. I've been watching my temper and asking him nicely not to do certain things. He's being a good boy and playing on the floor next to me right now. I think that my patience needs a lot of work at the moment especially going through what we just went through.
My friend also pointed out that I need to not be so hard on myself at the moment. I feel like I'm being a terrible Mother to Dom. He knows I love him so much! But he drives me nuts sometimes too! I know it's mostly the age.
Thanks for reading my rambling thoughts today.
And thank you all for being such good friends!
Dominic
6 yrs old
Lily
4 yrs old
Sara
19 months old
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
It's going to be a bright sunshiney day!
at 11:36 AM
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7 comments:
I am so glad to talk to you yesterday. I am glad to read you are feeling better, but remember, you have gone through a very hard thing that most people do not understand. Be kind to your self and not so hard on your self like I said. And also, remember to feel all the feelings you are feeling. Good, Bad, Happy and Sad. You will continue to grow from them and be stronger too. You are not alone, and can call me any time, but you have someone even more powerful and who loves you even more than anyone else, Heavenly Father. He can help you through this time. Trust Him.
Glad that you got to spend some one on one time with Dom last night. I know that spending time with Bug when our 2nd Foster Baby was removed last August helped me so much. He helped me heal from he pain I was going through.
Renee, you are stronger than you give yourself credit for! You have such a remarkably strong spirit! We are so glad here in IF that you are doing better! It is very hard for us to be so far away from you guys...especially in recent events!
I am glad that you have Dom to help you heal. He's a good son..even if he gives you a hard time some of the time....
WE LOVE YOU!!!
So sorry to hear the news about Lily! Things happen for a reason and God has a plan for everyone! Hang in there, glad to hear you are doing better also!
I am glad you are doing better. You have been in my thoughts and prayers. I have wanted to help you soooo much, but really had no idea how I could help you get through such a hard thing. You are a good Mother. Luckily children forget quickly and forgive easily. We all lose our patience now and then. The baby you will be blessed with is such a lucky child to have a loving and caring mother who would go to the ends of the earth for her!
Thank you all for your support and kind words and prayers.
We are so sorry to hear about your loss. I'm glad you're finding a silver lining, though. We're keeping you in our prayers.
Renee, your struggles with Dom sound like what I go through with Atley (3 in August). It is definitely normal to lose your cool with them sometimes, and love them so much still. It is fun to watch all of their growth and milestones, but they learn to push their luck a lot at this stage also. I'm sure you are a great mom, and very normal. I am trying to make sure I set aside time for a couple mom-Atley activities each day like play-doh, coloring, building train tracks, etc. Spend lots of time with Dom and keep faith and hope.
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