Paranoid!

I have to write this post because I can't sleep w/out trying to get some of this off my mind.
I feel stupid for feeling this way, but today is "L's" well-child exam. Guess who's invited? Yes, the birthparents! I know, I know, every one is asking "why do they get to come". It's just the rules of the game. We can't change anything until after the termination hearing. And yes, this will be the first dr's visit they will be at. She's ONE!
Who thought that one stupid little dr's appt could be so stressful!
The SW WILL be there the whole time. This is the first time, besides in court that I will actually be faced w/having a conversation w/these people. I don't want to say the wrong thing. Everything I do/say at this point is crucial. They will be looking for anything/everything to hold against us.
Also, I don't want them to interfere w/undressing "L" for the weight check, or trying to comfort her after her 4 shots! That's MY job! I will be the one to do all that. They can sit in the office and watch/listen.
I am just so stressed! The appt's @ 10:30am so I just have to get through the dr's visit and then I'm outta there!!!
It's stupid, I know, but if you could say a prayer for me tomorrow/today...I would appreciate it. I need to feel calm and in control. Because, we are the one's w/custody of "L" and have been for the past 5 months.
I can see the light at the end of the tunnel...just gotta get through the RED TAPE (as said by my friend Brenda).